Eye contact is one of the most common ways to flirt with someone.
Unless you are randomly scanning your environment, you are looking at another person because you are interested in or curious about that person.
When the person notices your interest, he or she will most likely return your gaze.
You are making eye contact with that person if you maintain the eye-to-eye connection for a few seconds rather than looking away.
Making eye contact not only confirms your interest in the other person, but also shows that you want the other person to know about it.
This is a strong enough message for many people to justify coming to talk to you, which takes flirting to the next level.
If the circumstances aren’t conducive to a first meeting – for example, if you’re with a group of friends or at a loud party – the other person may wait for a better opportunity to approach you.
Eye contact can also be beneficial in other situations.
For example, when someone you find interesting is passing by and you only have a second to catch their attention, or during a group conversation when you want to get the attention of a specific person without interrupting anyone.
The key point about eye contact is to control how long you hold it.
Two or three seconds of eye-to-eye contact, ideally combined with a gentle smile, will suffice to convey your message.
After that, simply turn away.
A minute later, you might want to make another few seconds of eye contact to make sure the other person got the message and didn’t just happen to look at each other.
Excessive eye contact is counterproductive.
You may appear overbearing and creepy if you stare at the other person too many times or for too long.
What if eye contact goes well?
Let’s say you made sustained eye contact with someone you like not once, but twice, three times, or even four times, and one of those times you exchanged a smile.
You now know two things.
- The other person noticed your curiosity.
- It’s possible that the other person doesn’t mind.
You can never be certain of what the other person is thinking, but if there was no interest, he or she would have simply stopped looking in your direction.
You have enough evidence at this point to make your move.
Keeping eye contact would be too monotonous and repetitive.
That message has already been sent.
If you do nothing, the person you like may begin to wonder if you know what you’re doing, if you’re too shy to make a move, or if you’re just having fun.
Inaction reduces your chances of success.
So, once you’ve received a green light via eye contact, stop looking for more positive feedback and start doing something.
Simply walk over and say hello if the time is right.
And don’t tense up; there’s no reason to.
It’s not that big of a deal.
All you’re doing is approaching someone who appears to be fun and interesting and in the mood for a friendly chat.
If you don’t think the time is right, stop looking and do something else.
Turn away and start talking to a friend, or pretend you received a phone call.
Simply disconnect and save your chances for the next time.